(For Parents and Pastors)

Jeff Johnston, Focus on the Family’s gender and homosexuality analyst, tackles some of today’s most perplexing questions about homosexuality:

Question: Are people born gay—Or do they choose to be gay?

Truth:

There is no scientific proof that people are born homosexual. At the same time, most people do not choose to have homosexual attractions. The truth is more complicated. For the past 40 years or so, researchers have tried to find a biological cause for homosexuality—studying genes, brains, twins and more. They found no biological or genetic cause. Even secular organizations like the American Psychological Association admit that the origins of same-sex attraction are unclear, and the path is probably different for each person. Homosexuality may possibly result from a combination of factors, including personality, relationships, trauma, developmental issues or cultural influences.

For more information, you can read Are People Really Born Gay? and God’s Design for Sexuality.

Question: Can people turn from gay to straight?

Truth:

First, let’s say something about the idea of “being gay.” Over time, the definition of homosexuality shifted from being a behavior to a condition to an identity. As far as identity goes, as Christians, we don’t want to define people by their attractions or struggles—so we look beyond homosexuality to see a person as a sacred human being created in the image of God.  “Being straight” or “being gay” may be the way the culture likes to label people, but  the truth is, it’s not how God determines our worth. God bases our worth on something unchanging— His unfailing, eternal love for us. That’s why, for Christians, we say our identity is in Christ. And that never changes.

Human behavior and patterns can change, however. God brings redemptive change to many areas of a person’s life, including behavior, identity, relationships and feelings. He uses many means to bring about change, including healthy relationships, counseling, Scripture, spiritual disciplines, the Holy Spirit, obedience and prayer. It may not  be an easy road, but many people have moved away from homosexuality, with some into marriage, including myself.

For more information,you can read Hope for Those Who Struggle and watch Cole’s Story

Question: Is it true that 10 percent of people are gay or lesbian?

Truth:

For years, when asked how much of the population was gay or lesbian, the standard reply from media pundits and homosexual activists was “10 percent.” This number came from a mis-reading of data from Alfred Kinsey’s 1948 study. The entire study itself was seriously compromised by the inclusion of a large number of sex offenders, prostitutes, prisoners and college students; by questioner bias (“We always assume that everyone has engaged in every type of activity”); by “volunteer bias” (those who volunteered for sexual surveys–the problem with a volunteer system or self-selection is that those who respond are most likely highly motivated to do so); and by the agenda of the author to normalize any and all sexual behaviors.

So 10 percent was the number named and promoted and chanted for years – from the California-based “Project 10” to Kevin Jennings’ book One Teacher in Ten, to protesters who shouted, “Ten Percent is not enough!” That number, like any other spurious statistic repeated often enough, took on a life of its own and became “settled fact.” Despite no real evidence to support it, despite the fact that Kinsey’s report never said that 10 percent of the population was homosexual, and despite the fact that his research was statistically inaccurate and methodologically compromised, the myth of 10 percent continued.  Sometimes activists used the 10 percent number even though they knew it was false. Newsweek wrote the following in 1993:

Some gay activists now concede that they exploited the Kinsey estimate for its tactical value, not its accuracy. “We used that figure when most gay people were entirely hidden to try to create an impression of our numerousness,” says Tom Stoddard, former head of the Lambda Legal Defense Fund.

So what are the real numbers? The real answer is that nobody knows the exact number. But a wide variety of studies suggests that the number of men and women who self-identify as gay or lesbian is somewhere between 1 and 3 percent of the population.  For more information on the sources cited in this text and on how the 1 to 3 percent estimate was derived, read Dig Deeper: Small Numbers, Big Influence.

Question: Shouldn’t two people who love each other be able to be together? Why do you oppose same-sex marriage?

Truth:

The way we define marriage makes a difference because that definition impacts everyone, not just same-sex couples.  We recognize that there are same-sex couples who want to affirm their relationship, yet same-sex marriage comes at a high cost: it can cost kids either a mom or a dad, and it costs people of faith their First Amendment rights.  We need to weigh the cost before we jump into this latest social experiment with marriage.

Also, think for a moment about what same-sex marriage  represents: It’s a drastic shift that also opens the door to other groups who want to redefine marriage.  People who want to legalize polygamy rely on the same arguments as same-sex marriage supporters.  If you can change the gender of marriage, why not change the number of people in a marriage?  Marriage is not plastic – it doesn’t bend and mold to changing opinions.  At the end of the day, the big idea is not stopping same-sex marriage.  The big idea is doing everything we can to see that kids have both a mom and a dad.  That also means reducing divorce, unwed parenting and fatherlessness.

The fact is, marriage has been around long before the US was founded and it didn’t come to be in order to prevent gay people from marrying – that idea wasn’t even on the horizon. Actually marriage as modeled by the early Christian church was liberating for women and children who were often the targets of exploitation.  It was countercultural in a pagan society because it elevated sexuality to a monogamous relationship.  Marriage should be strengthened, not redefined. Study after study supports this, showing that children with a married mother and father, in general, do better socially, mentally, and physically. They are less likely to be abused, to be involved in crime, or to abuse substances. That’s why society should support marriage and work to keep married couples together—because their children need a mother and father.

As Christians, we also look at this from a spiritual and biblical perspective. As people who follow the Bible, we are more concerned about what God says than what man thinks.  We know that God’s design for sex, marriage and family is the best. Yes, we fall short, yet God’s plan for strong families with intimacy between a husband and wife is what we should strive for. For more information, you can read God’s Design for Sexuality, Five Questions and Answers about the Same-Sex Marriage Issue and Talking Points: Marriage is Good for Women, Men and Children.

Question: But don’t we need laws protecting gays and lesbians against discrimination? I mean, aren’t they an oppressed group of people that need same-sex marriage laws to help them fight bigotry?

Truth:

Christianity teaches us to love all people and treat people well, regardless of their attractions, self-identity or behavior. But if we want to talk about the comparisons often heard these days comparing homosexuality to race in terms of discrimination, let’s look at this question in a legal sense. The United States Supreme Court usually asks several different questions to see if a group is discriminated against on the basis of a certain characteristic—and homosexuality fitting within a discriminated against category has never met that legal standard. The court may ask:

• Is this group identified by trait that is inborn, involuntary and unchangeable (like skin color, or a person’s sex)?
• Is this a politically and socially powerless group?
• Is there a history of discrimination against this group?

When we look at the first question, homosexuality doesn’t pass the test. We know that there is no evidence that homosexuality is “inborn.” (See the first point in this article.) The  second question definitely doesn’t fit. Many studies show that gay- and lesbian-identified men and women attain higher levels of education than the general population. Some studies show higher income levels and higher levels of discretionary spending for homosexually-identified people. Millions of dollars a year are raised and spent by LGBT groups on political, social and educational campaigns. Dozens of (very expensive) lawsuits have been filed in the past few years to redefine marriage and create special rights based on sexual behavior. So in general, this group clearly has a lot of political and social influence and power.

Although you often hear arguments comparing it to the civil rights movement, same-sex marriage is not the same as race or ethnicity.  Americans respond to this message because of our history – a time when people were told where to sit on a bus or where to eat in a restaurant.  But that’s not what we have here.  This is a redefinition of marriage that impacts more than that same-sex couple. Race is irrelevant to marriage, gender is at the core of marriage.  Marriage is color-blind but not gender-blind.

It’s important to recognize that same-sex couples do in fact have rights.  In all 50 states, they can live together, have the blessing of a like-minded religious community and work for a company that provides partnership benefits.  It’s the same for being at the bedside of the partner and jointly owning property.  All of this is available to same-sex couples.  What we’re debating is whether the government will redefine marriage to include these relationships and then force every citizen and business to do so, as well.

For more information, you can read this Q&A document.